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It’s something almost all of us have done at some point — sending a DM to our favorite artist (or, before that, writing fan letters). But DMs have changed the game. They are a direct doorway into an artist’s private life — and into the lives of fans.
A private message sent from a verified profile. An ambiguous reply to a fan’s story. A backstage invitation framed as professional, while the real intention remains unclear.
This mix of public visibility and personal seduction creates power dynamics that are neither balanced nor neutral. An artist account is a professional tool. It is a vehicle for visibility, a container for reputation, a space where symbolic capital accumulates — meaning recognition, credibility, and the ability to influence other people’s trajectories. When you write from that account, you are not speaking solely as a private individual; you are speaking as someone invested with status. And status profoundly shapes how others perceive and respond to you.
Social psychology has long demonstrated that asymmetries of power influence behavior, often unconsciously. Someone who admires your work, who hopes to collaborate with you one day, or who simply wants to remain within your professional orbit, is not in the same position as you to accept or decline an advance. Even if your intention feels light, even if you believe you are “just taking a shot” without pressure, the other person may experience an implicit constraint. We invite you to revisit our article When Saying No Can Break a Career.
That constraint does not necessarily come from an explicit threat, but from the fear of losing access, opportunity, validation, or visibility. In this context, consent becomes more complex than a simple yes or no. It requires that the person genuinely feel free to decline without consequence. When seduction originates from an account that represents professional power — backstage access, invitations, visibility, potential collaborations — that freedom can be compromised.
This is not an automatic accusation of abuse; it is simply the recognition of a structural dynamic. Some will argue that being single obviously gives someone the right to flirt, and that is true. The issue is not banning all relationships between artists and people in their professional or public circles. The issue is context.
Using a work tool — designed specifically to manage a career and a public image — as leverage for seduction blurs the boundary between professional and intimate spheres. When those boundaries become unclear, the risk of misunderstanding, pressure, or resentment increases.
Backstage culture illustrates this confusion perfectly. Designed as a workspace where artists, technicians, and organizers move and collaborate, it can become ambiguous if invitations are regularly motivated by unspoken personal intentions. Over time, this shifts the culture of those spaces and can make them uncomfortable, even unsafe, for the people who work there.
On a personal level, I have lost count of how many times, after a strictly professional interview, a DJ began flirting with me by message once the interview was over — as if the conversation, the work setting, and the presence of a camera had quietly shifted into something else. It created a wave of nausea mixed with anxiety, because clearly saying “no, thank you” never felt entirely without consequence. I would think about my job, my credibility, Clubbing TV, and the possibility that a refusal could be interpreted as a lack of “friendliness.” I worried he might respond with “Oh, I wasn’t flirting with you,” making me appear presumptuous, or worse, that rejecting him could affect future professional opportunities. Like many women in similar situations, instead of questioning why a professional boundary had been crossed, I found myself questioning my own behavior. Did I smile too much? Was I too relaxed? Did I, without meaning to, send mixed signals? That reversal is insidious. The discomfort originates in a shifted boundary, yet the doubt settles inside you.
There is also a reputational dimension that many underestimate. Screenshots circulate. Conversations are shared. Repeated behavior gradually shapes a public image. What may feel like a single harmless message can, when accumulated with others, create a reputation for unprofessionalism or insistence. In a scene where credibility relies heavily on trust, that perception can have lasting consequences.
If you removed the status, the followers, the verification badge, the privileged access and the visibility that come with your artist account, would your approach remain exactly the same? If the answer is uncertain, then power is playing a far more central role than you might be willing to admit.
We also need to address something even more serious than ambiguous DMs: artists who use their professional accounts to ask for intimate photos, sometimes from very young women who follow them, admire them, or hope to work in the scene. That kind of request is not “awkward flirting.” It is a direct exploitation of a power imbalance. When a well-known figure, equipped with status, visibility and access to opportunities, asks for nudes from their official account, they are implicitly mobilizing everything that account represents: recognition, validation, proximity to a world that feels exclusive and hard to access. The pressure does not need to be explicitly stated to exist; it is structural. And the greater the gap in age, experience or professional position, the more problematic that imbalance becomes. These practices are not part of “club culture” or some supposed spirit of freedom within the scene. They are abuses of influence that can leave deep and lasting marks on those who experience them.
In that context, it is impossible not to mention the cases that have shaken the scene, including what many refer to as “Steergate.” If certain media outlets or organizations choose not to comment publicly on specific elements, it is for serious legal reasons and because procedures may be ongoing; public silence does not mean that nothing is happening. What these cases have revealed, however, is the extent of a system in which inappropriate behavior was tolerated, minimized or protected for far too long.
If you have been a victim, a witness, or if you recognize yourself in these situations — whether it involves pressure, requests for intimate photos, ambiguous propositions or something more serious — there are spaces where you can speak safely. You can turn to the page metoodjs, which collects testimonies, shares information and directs victims toward professionals (lawyers, psychologists, support services) so that people in the music scene do not feel isolated or silenced.
And finally, a simple suggestion: create a personal account, and work on building enough self-worth to be appreciated for who you are, not for the status attached to your artist profile.